Secret Enemies and Snake Charmers

Every now and then you spend time with awesome people, like the friends who came to visit me this weekend, and they remind you how good it feels to be around people you can trust and you know have your back. I've realized this is a blessing not to be ignored or taken for granted because it is rare indeed.

I could count on one hand the number of friends I have that I can trust completely, and that is a terrible but important discovery. Why do I surround myself with this sort of people? How do they find me? I've always had these "friends" in my life that are totally dedicated to themselves and don't care who or what they hurt along the way.

It's terrible when one of your best friends becomes one of your secret enemies. Someone you can't relax around, someone that constantly keeps you against a wall. And when you see their true colors, you freeze and realize how much you told them in confidence that has now become ammunition to be pulled out and used against you with no warning. So what do you do? You have to stay friends with them. You pick the snake up from the grass and keep it as a pet because you figure it's harder for it to bite you if you keep an eye on it. This is not always the case. The longer you're around your snake your memories of the dangers it presents fade away and it will strike when you least expect it. So you live in fear of this creature, wanting it to think all is well so it has no reason to attack, but also trying to stay aware that the serpent ultimately is the one in control.

This is no way to live, yet it is a purgatory I have willingly submitted myself to over the years. One day I will be released from this torment, but for now I wait. Wait and pretend that everything's ok.

I have been blessed with some friends that I could not live without and I thank you for being there with me, thank you for helping me charm my snakes.