Monday, May 25, 2009

Long time no blog

Seeing as how I just looked at the clock and I meant to go to bed an hour ago I'll make this fast.  I haven't written for a long (and I mean a looooong) time for a plethora of reasons, mostly being while I would have loved to let my feelings out over the last few months I couldn't because Cyber space is a vast, open pit where anyone can find anything.  Frankly I like to let somethings bMknown and others not so much.  I sit here right now debating on whether or not I'll post this one.  

I've never been much for blogging, keeping a journal-sure, blogging-meh.  Even blogs onMyspace or notes on Facebook have never been much of a thing for me.  While those who read my blog I have no problem seeing my thoughts there's always that X-factor that makes me freeze up and not say what I would like to.  How I envy those who say what then want to on their blogs and don't give a rat's bum who reads it.  I wish I could have that attitude; but life has taught me it's best to keep your head down and keep quiet nine times out of ten.  

So I write all of these anxieties I have about blogging and not wanting the entire world to know my inner-most thoughts and yet I write a blog anyway.  What is it that compels me so much to write?  Is it the hopes that I'll say something I shouldn't and that my blog will, through some unforeseen crazy, random happenstance, confront the world for me?  Is it that I'm tired of always taking the high road that, while it is ultimately the better path is far more painful and much less satisfying than sinking to the levels of those who hurt me, and feel an unquenchable desire to be heard?  Do I seek to create drama when there doesn't need to be-I would hope not.  

Ha.  Perhaps I will never know the answer but for now I play safe and just want to let you, my friends, know that life is good!  I have stories from my trip last weekend to share and hopefully pictures will follow.  Happy Memorial Day everyone!

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